Monday, April 12, 2010

Celebrity Bride - Alison Kervin

Rating : 1/10

My experiments with rom-coms and chick-lit are going awry and wrong, and Celebrity Bride is the latest in my series of disasters. I picked up the book primarily because the author's previous book was called 'the new Bridget Jones'. Getting this book was a big mistake because this is one of those books that insult the reader's intelligence. Also..where is it written that romance and comedy ought to be bereft of some intelligence and common sense?

The story goes like this: Kelly Monsoon is living the dream. Hollywood super star Rufus George is in love with her and has asked her to move in with him, something that takes Kelly to a whole different celebrity world. Which just means shopping, clothes, wine, parties, clothes, shopping, wine, parties...yeah, you get the picture. I don't mind suspending disbelief if it means I can have a good laugh. But reading one of the stupidest heroines ever is so very difficult.

Kelly cannot see who is manipulating her. She does not question, ever. Because you know..that's common sense and she doesn't want to have it. She takes dangerous diet pills, doesn't call her best friends even after offending them because a new acquaintance thinks she ought to wait for them to call her. She sees the acquaintance hand over her switched-on phone, though she's sure she switched it off when she gave it and doesn't ask a single question as to who who turned it on or why. She spies on her boyfriend's house, searching for signs of infidelity. Again because she was asked to. What happened to her free will? Why can't she decide? I wished I could do a Thursday Next, jump in to the book and rewrite Kelly!

Kelly doesn't tell the police the truth about where she was when a murder happened..because you know..she was in the 'secret place' where she hangs out with Rufus and she doesn't want the media to know about it. Oh yes, it doesn't matter of course, that telling the police the truth might save her from any consequences. The police, even though it's a tough task, manage to be as stupid as Kelly! They conveniently make major mistakes which add to the little plot there is. Alison Kervin's writing was very funny at first..but with such a heroine like Kelly, it just didn't matter.

And just when you thought she couldn't get more irritating, Kelly lectures in the finale about how she won't be a 'Celebrity Bride' and she'll have a lovely, cozy, intimate wedding only with close friends and not the glamorous people of Hollywood. 

This book is one of the most irritating ones that I've read in quite a while and it is unintentionally funny too, when you come to think of it! Maybe it just didn't work for me, but I still wouldn't recommend this book to anyone. Better to be bored than reading this!


Janine said...

Hello, I can't believe you didn't like this book!! I loved it. It's a satire based on the horrible story of Anna Nicole Smith but with an innocent, naive young girl thrown into the world of celebrity as the principle to reflect Anna when she started out. I've read loads of interviews with the author and the more I read the book, the more I adore it!!
I thought it was dark and compulsive and I know the author worked hard on making the main character as naive and vulnerable as possible, because she said in The New Yorker magazine:'I wanted Kelly to be as transfixed and under the spell of celebrity as possible; like a child in the grip of an evil magician.' So the author would probably totally get your point about wanting to step into the book and shake Kelly.
The theory was that Kelly would not act rationally and would not behave in a logical, assertive manner to reflect the way normal people fall apart under celebrity and don't think sensibly any more. I know the author had done a great deal of research and had come to the conclusion that if you are a normal, decent girl you can't become a celebrity and act normally...from Subo to Brittany Spears to Michael Jackson and the rest of them...I just thought it was a cleverly conceived and drawn book. I wish I could find the links to the article in The New Yorker because that was a fabulous piece.
Anyway, isn't it funny how we all like different things! The world would be dull if we didn't!! Apparently the author had wanted to call the book Beauty and the Beast to start with - and that's how it seemed to me when I read it. Normal rules stopped applying as she became enmeshed in the celebrity world. She was scared to be herself - the bubbly, fun girl we met at the beginning melted and every decision was executed with panic and confusion. Anyway, thanks for the blog!! Janine

Kals said...

Hello Janine,
Thank you for leaving this comment. It sounds like we read two different books by the sound of our opinions! This book just didn't work for me and I couldn't get myself to like Kelly. She was just too naive and made some bad choices without even questioning them.

I haven't read the author's interview or the reasons behind this book, so my review is absolutely based on the impression that just the book made on me :)

JoAnn said...

Well... at least the cover is sort of appealing ;-)
This doesn't sound like my type of book at all.

Kals said...

The cover is one of the main reasons I got the book ;)

Shweta said...

Not my kind of book :) I think YA protagonists are much better than chick lit heroines LOL

Cover is definitely cute!

Kals said...

I should try reading more of YA! :)

Tanu said...

I like to recommend The Undomestic Goddess by Sophie Kinsella. I think it is the best Sophie Kinsella book. I can guarantee that your experience will be better than Celebrity Bride.

I see you are reading The Marriage Bureau for Rich People. I enjoyed that book. How do you like it so far? I cannot wait to read your review of that book.

Kals said...

Thank you so much for the reco, Tanu! :) I shall read it asap! Another of my friends recommended Kinsella's Shopaholic series. Is that fun?

I'm really liking it so far, almost 50 pages into it. It conjures a very realistic, lovely image of India and its people :)

Tanu said...

I have read the first two book of the series. It is decent. Personally, I enjoyed the second book in the series more than the first one. I will finish the series hopefully soon. As for Kinsella, her other books are so much more fun. I listened to The Undomestic Goddess, and I laughed out loud too many times. Same with "Remember Me?"

Kim said...

Rated 1/10 -- that made me laugh. I do appreciate honesty, tho. Did you finish it? If yes, why?

Tanu -- is the Undomestic Goddess a movie? It was the last book I was reading for the read-a-thon. But when I knew I had seen the movie I stopped, didn't want to start another book, and went to bed. I looked it up on Netflix, but couldn't see that title. Just making sure I wasn't have a vivid imagination that late at night. (queen bee)

Tanu said...

Honestly, I did not know that. But Google to the rescue. According to IMDB, this is in development and should release sometime next year. Now I am excited. I don't know what movie you saw. :)

I would recommend listening to it if you ever decide to pick it up.

Booksnyc said...

The cover looks appealing but I guess I am not surprised that it ended up falling flat -thanks for the warning!

christa @ mental foodie said...

that pretty much sums up why i don't like reading chick lit :) I have to say its cover doesn't attract me either... guess i'll just have to stick with something else (although, perhaps i should read one just for one of the book challenge - reading a genre you don't usually read...)

The Book Mole said...

I've had pretty bad luck with chicklit too. Makes me wonder if it has to do with the specific books I read, or if I'm just not a chicklit kind of person.

Vaishnavi said...

This book does sound a bit like slow torture. In my experience, it is very rare for RomCom writers to get it right and if they don't the result is insipid. Kelly sounds very stupid:)

Kals said...

Kim - Yes, I finished it because it was an easy read. And because I hate not finishing books :)

Tanu - I remember seeing Undomestic Goddess in my library. I'll get it soon :)

Booksync - My pleasure :)

The BookMole - I'm the same! I've concluded that I'm not really a chick-lit person and it's only a rare chick-lit that I find interesting.

Vaishnavi - Definitely like slow torture! Especially with a very naive lead character :|

Anonymous said...

The book sounds really dull...

Also, I don't think you would like "The Undomestic Goddess" either...I certainly didn't

Kals said...

LOL. I have it with me now and I'm about to begin reading it :) Let's see how it goes!


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